The Morning breaks,

A smoke he takes.

Ignorant and in a rage,

His ape brain rails within his cage.

Perspiring All the while,

With the Humble claminess of a pedophile.

For status is what he seeks,

He lacks the cerebral sack to reach his cheeks.

My friend does not know reality,

This, 21st Century victim of Micro-cephallicy.

Oh Captain, pfft What Captain?

I once marched for him,

That man of Principle and Grief.

I though he would change things,

Giving the diligent relief.
The promise of hope and change!

Seven years in Purgatory did not heal,

The festering carrion beneath his mask

So in one fell swoop, it he did re-peel!
To show us all the beast beneath

What fools we had been?!

All because, at temptations knock,

We did let Him in…

Sad Halved Mustache

I once came for wisdom, informed that I was dumb.

And twice I came for a compassion

Yet was met with only rebuke.

So silent I became, and silent you remained

Thrice I begged your mercy,

And you gave only disgust.

Four times! I refuse to boast

And 5 more times, 

you thrust your fists against the post,

Denying there ever was a ghost.

So in the funeral parlor I sit

Wrestling my Id to give a shit

This I notice the hairs are split!

Why should I ever quit?!

I will not miss him, not one bit…

For vengeance may be the Lord’s

But I shall not mince his words.

Alas, my battery powered Norelco hums to life…

The look of horror upon his wife.

When she leans down one to say goodbye…

To find, that Stupid Mustache is a lie.

Half a mustache is all she found,

Because being an asshole all around

Means no one will miss you when the cancer puts you down